Austin and I have been ordinance workers at the Jordan Temple Saturday evenings for the past few months and last Saturday was my last time to work a shift (hopefully). It has been so wonderful to be able to serve in the temple. Austin and I have grown spiritually individually and together more so over these past few months then in any other capacity. I have come to understand the different promises we make in the temple so much more clearly, and in turn come to understand my purpose as a women who serves the Lord.
We also made many friends. Austin and I are a hard couple to miss: Austin is the tallest red head (and pretty sharp....people notice) so you can't really miss him. And I'm the only pregnant lady on the Saturday shift so most people were able to recognize and remember us easily. Many of the workers were older, usually retired. But there were also many return missionaries or sisters not yet married that I worked with as well. My last Saturday was bitter sweet. I realized how many wonderful friends I had made and how close we had become over the past few weeks. I am sad that I will not be able to be a worker again for a very long time. But look forward to being able to be one again!
At first it was a slight burden going Saturday nights. That meant no random trips to visit family, no fun Saturday dates, and because I work most Saturdays not many big projects could be accomplished either. I was worried that I wouldn't have the energy to work 6 hours, run home, shower, and then be at the temple for 6 hours. But I found the longer we were there the more energy I was able to have. I found that my mind was quicker. I was able to memorize the different ordinances within an hour or so, understand their meanings, receive personal insight into them and remember them from week to week.
I have come to understand that as I have faith and rely on the Spirit, I am able to do more than if I think it all depends on me.
Working in the temple re-awakened a spiritual side to me that I have been trying to revive, but couldn't on my own. It made me crave being in the temple, rather then dreading or feeling guilty when another week passed and I didn't make time to go.
Working in the temple made me a better wife. I was able to see where some potentially bad habits were forming and change them so that I was working on strengthening my marriage instead of focusing on myself and my needs. I became more patient with Austin and willing to listen. I came to see spiritual gifts in Austin that I had never recognized before and wow! I am so lucky to have him!
Working in the temple soften my heart and made me want to know my Heavenly Father better.
I am coming to understand better that Heavenly does not need me to be fully developed (or even able) and then come to Him, offering Him my "worthy" gifts. He needs availability and dependability. Then will He make me capable.
I know that we were called to work in the temple to prepare Austin and I for the years ahead. Because of this experience I will be a better mother because I am learning more to rely on the Lord. I am so grateful I was able to serve!
It's amazing how much longer 5 days after my due date have become in comparison to the 9 months before my due date. They have been filled with anticipation and excitement at the beginning of the day with the possibility that I may see my little one at the end of it all; and then to frustration, sadness, loneliness (how can you miss someone you haven't met yet?), and anxt at the end when, once again, my baby has decided that today is just not his day.
