Steve Urkel, you got nothing on me!

***Really. This is long and nerdy. It was meant to be a Thanksgiving ideas/how to remember to be thankful after the holidays post. If you want that scroll to the end***

I heard in the news the other day that people who are more thankful have less headaches, get sick less often, and are overall more happy. As I was listening the nerdy (toilet paper in my shoe nerdy) theory buff inside of me perked up because it reminded me of my favorite theory by William Glasser, "Choice Theory" love Love LOVE! Get to know it and you'll love it too. In Therapeutic Recreation you get to be pretty good friends with TONS of theories. I've become a little attached to this one.

Pretty much what this theory says is that we have 5 basic needs (Love & Belonging, Survival, Fun/Learning, Power, Freedom). Everyone has differing levels for each need, but we all have them and according to Glasser we are born with these set levels. Watch the people around you and you'll start seeing it. That mom on the PTA board isn't just the crazy lady that takes control of everything...she has a high need for power, etc.We then translate that into our "quality world" or what we think makes a good life. It absolutaly affects the way we view and perceive the world. When that quality world is challenged things can get pretty dicey. Sometimes that's good (sticking to our morals when they are challenged), but sometimes it's not. Let's say your quality world is that you have a loving father who provides for you...but in reality you have an abusive father. That is when you have a choice: 1) continue to hold to your old quality world and be in a negative cycle of abuse as well as dealing with the mental difficulties of never meeting the standards of your quality world or 2) change your quality world...one without your abusive father in it possibly.

Choice theory also states that we cannot force anyone to do anything...but we try to. Two year olds have this down pat, aka temper tantrums. Grown ups throw temper tantrums too, but they come in slightly different forms: parents who disown their child because they've chosen something against their wishes, family feuds where either side wont talk to the other till someone apologizes. In all of these situations people are trying to control each other by: removing love and communication, punishment, acting out. What are your ways of acting out? The point of choice theory is to recognize these attributes in yourself as well as recognize that you cannot force anyone else to do what you want, you can only present choices. It makes life a little less frustrating when you make the switch. (Disclaimer: This applies really well to adults...but that doesn't necessarily mean it should be used on a two year old Love and Logic would be more applicable yet still within the realm of choice theory)

The physical part of choice theory is one of the most mind boggling to me. William Glasser, an MD who has been practicing over 30 years, has never medicated his patients! Depression, anxiety you name it. Part of it is in the language. When someone comes to him and says "I feel so depressed today" he responds by saying "Why are you depressing today". By changing that word slightly it takes the depression from being out of the patients control (being acted upon) and placing it in their realm of ability and responsibility (choosing to act).  Now I understand that there are some things which need medication, but maybe some things don't as much as we think they do....

What a wonderful phenomena...choice. In a world where everything is so reactive (you make me so made), isn't it empowering to know that really when it comes down to it we have a choice? Our minds are far more powerful than we give them credit for. Hmmmm doesn't that sound familiar?

 "Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and call things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself." -2 Nephi 2:27

We usually think of that in a spiritual sense of captivity...but what about physically and emotionally as well? Just a little food for thought. 

Anyway, back to the news report. They talked about being grateful and a lady gave some ideas her family did to remember to be grateful all year around as well as on Thanksgiving that I would like to use in my family:

~Keeping a family "Gratitude" journal where you talk about and enter one thing the family is grateful for that week (FHE idea anyone?). You leave the book out where anyone can read it and remember throughout the year what you've been grateful for and to continue to be grateful

~"Thankful" Rolls: It's pretty much the idea of a fortune cookie. Have everyone write on a slip of paper what they are thankful for and roll them up in your croissant rolls. It becomes a game as well of who is thankful for what

~Thankful Hands table cloth: Trace all your family members hands on a table cloth. Put their name, what they are thankful for, and the year inside of the hand. Each year add more "thankful hands" to the table cloth. It's fun to see what you are thankful for with each passing year! This lady stitched hers and it was pretty cute, but fabric markers would work, too!

Heros

If I were to meet some one who has already pass, aside from relatives, I would want to meet Eleanor Roosevelt. She had valor, moral character, sharp as a tack,  and darn it she had spunk! Not only that but she truly was wise. She was wise, well educated, insightful, observant and was articulate enough to express that wisdom. She is the kind of woman I would like to be. I mean, check out that smile! She could put out the sun it's so bright and cheery! These quotes really spoke to me, I hope they inspire you too!

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You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, "I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along"...You must do the thing you think you cannot do. (You Learn Through Living)

It takes courage to love, but pain through love is the purifying fire which those who love generously know. We all know people who are so much afraid of pain that they shut themselves up like clams in a shell and, giving out nothing, receive nothing and therefore shrink until life is a mere living death. (1 April 1939)

I have never felt that anything really mattered but the satisfaction of knowing that you stood for the things in which you believed and had done the very best you could. (8 November 1944)

A mature person is one who does not think only in absolutes, who is able to be objective even when deeply stirred emotionally, who has learned that there is both good and bad in all people and all things, and who walks humbly and deals charitably with the circumstances of life, knowing that in this world no one is all-knowing and therefore all of us need both love and charity. (You Learn Through Living)


 Quotes came from her book “You Learn Through Living” (1937) and her daily newspaper column “My Day” (1937-1962)

Today's Life Lessons

Things I learned today:

-Nutmeg is a strong spice...a very strong spice. Although it can be paired with cinnamon it shouldn't be used as freely

-7:00 turns into 8:00 which then turns into running late fairly quickly if you don't get enough sleep

-Husband cannot read my thoughts. Calling to let him know I'm waiting in the parking lot can save twenty minutes or so

-Car batteries die and go to heaven, no matter how careful you've been not to leave them on for hours at a time

-Kindles are pretty cool

-It's okay to charge people for the work I do

-Not taking my fiber pill has its consequences

-I can't control other people's actions. So I'm not going to complain about people complaining

-Listening to the Christian Rock station is more uplifting and less lame than I used to think 

-Home feels like home when Austin is in it

This Place Called Memory Lane

Today I have spent some time walking lane. Perhaps it is because Ben had his farewell Sunday and seeing all those band kids just brought me back to all my good buddies I had. Life can never go back to the way it was...which is good because no matter how wonderful high school was, it would be quite hellish to be in a perpetual state of "high school student", but it was sweet while it lasted.

Everybody seemed to grow up really fast. Johanna, Camille, and Steph are having babies, Fuzz is spreading the gospel. Cam, Mike, and Jake are back from missions (for almost 2 years now, what??) and are at USU living the college life and being awesome, I'm sure.

Then somehow I went through college and a million roommates in the blink of an eye. Cami got married, Sam will be graduating soon, Kaylee is falling in love again, Nonie is a teacher and living with Nina, Ashlee got married, Oyuna is probably still a night owl, Jamie is a missionary, Elise went on a mission and is now home, Shantell is being her bad self.

How did I go from obnoxious teenager to this crazy married lady??? Instead of thinking about boys, roommate problems, and what to do on Friday night I'm thinking about how to get through medical school, how to make Austin's lunch more exciting, how we're going to live in D.C. if I get my internship at N.I.H., how to make Christmas work, how to make exercising more interesting for Joyce, pay the heating bill, the rent, the internet bill, the gas bill. And the new topic of my many thoughts lately has been what I want to teach my children (when they come...not anytime soon), which inevitably follows with the realization that I'm still trying to possess those qualities...how the heck will I teach them to my children?!?!?

Anyway. The point being that time has passed so quickly. I know that I wasn't perfect through out that time. In fact some of those mistakes still  occupy the corner of my thoughts which never seem to completely leave. One of those mistakes that I always re-re-re-re-re-realize while strolling down this dusty lane is how my stupid pride built automatic stone walls between me and learning more, meeting people and such. I cringe when I remember times when I should have been understanding and instead I was judgmental, when I should have just shut up but instead I spoke louder and closed my ears tighter, when I should have stopped and listened instead of plowing ahead with what I thought was right. Memory Lane can be laden with booby traps and thorn bushes sometimes. 

My hope is that I've improved from selfish teenager to now. I don't want to be the Heidi that was so forward she was rude, that indulged in self pity, that was inconsistent. I want to be less self-centered, more patient, less thoughtless, more compassionate, more self-disciplined, more faithful, reliable.  Maybe writing it down will remind me that this is who I am working to become. Thanks Memory Lane for reminding me, I'll remember not to be that anymore. 

You Run Like My Grandma

Ever been told "You run like a grandma"? Ya, me neither. But if it ever happens in the near future you can turn around and be proud to say "thank you!". Check this video out and you'll see why. Make sure to pay attention to the far right hand side of the roster....yep those are their ages.

How is it possible for 80 year old to get a better score than even some adolescents?!?! That's what I was wondering. So I sat in on my husband's Exercise Physiology class one day to find out. Here is what I found: it's due to the high intensity exercise routine sprinters engage in. But what do you hear now-a-days? 30 minutes of moderate exercise 3 times a week. Well, according to Dr. Langford (Austin's professor who is researching this topic), in couple of years you wont be hearing that recommendation from experts. You'll be hearing numbers like "frequent 40 minutes" and "high intensity cardio-vascular" used together in order to have an effective work out.

Now why should we change? You think you're doing great on your moderate schedule. Here is what frequent 40 minutes of high intensity work out do for you:

-Stresses and strengthens the heart in ways which cause longer lasting results
-Improves heart performance (aka you wont be on a ventilator when you're 70...you'll be running)
-Helps fight as well as prevent diabetes better than doctor recommended moderate exercise (#1 killer of Americans has to do with heart disease and is closely followed by diabetes)

And think about it, it makes sense. If you lift a 5 pound weight for 30 minutes 3 times a week...ya you will gain some strength in your arms, but if you up the intensity you will have better results. You heart is a muscle, it works in a similar fashion. Don't believe me, watch the video again. Ya, the video of that 65 year old woman kicking your trash. Any moderately exercised individual can b.s. a half marathon (I am living proof of that). But there is no b.s. in a 80 year old still running a 14 second 100 meter dash. I don't know about you, but I would rather be running at 70 then wheezing my way down the hallway. So you may want to re-think your exercise routine....I know I am!

Go ahead. Stress your heart. That way in 40 years you too can be proud to be told you run like a grandma ;)

Fit to be tied

Old Mother Hubbard

Went to the cupboard

To get her poor doggie a bone

When she got there

The cupboard was bare

So the poor little doggie had none

Did you know that this poem is talking about King Henry VIII? Ya crazy, I know you were wondering about that. Well actually it's talking about Cardinal Wosley, whom the king hated because he would not divorce the king from Queen Kathrine so he could indulge in his lust for Anne Boleyn (Make your choice wisely Henry, divorce is something they only do in England ;)

King Henry = the doggie,
the bone = the divorce itself,
the cupboard = the Catholic Church, and
Cardinal Wosley = Old Mother Hubbard herself...himself. 

I always thought this nursery rhyme was cool because I have an actual grandmother Hubbard who could have probably fit in the darn cupboard she was so stinkin' small...but now the rhyme just seems twisted. Anyway, that has nothing to do with what this post is about. Stick that in your gee-wiz file to be pulled out at random times during dinner dates and awkward silences. No thanks necessary.

What I did want to say is that I am leaning toward the geriatrics as of late. I have been working with them for going on 5 years now so I should expect them to rub off on me sooner or later, right? I, in my search for productivity, have started to learn to crochet. My grandmother taught me how to chain when I was really young. But now, thanks to the power of Google and Youtube, I am doing a little more than that. I'm kinda proud of them and the work I put into them. I'm far from done, but here's what I got so far:

Cap w/ brim
Stitches: Double half

Cap w/ brim
Stitches: Double half

Kingston/Flop hat
Stitches: Puff, double half, half

Cherry Tree w/ side turned up
Stitches: Double half, and needle point

For some reason Austin was reluctant to pose as a model for girly head ware. So I thought "What the heck. It's my blog I can do whatever I want"

It takes be about a day to finish a full hat. I was doing one a day, but by the time I got to number four my fingers started to feel like they were being ripped off of my hand. I decided it was okay to engage in grandmaly activities, but it's not okay to feel like one. So I've let up a little.